Life Plans :)

So let's just say that this week has been crazy insane. Things are starting to brighten up though! When I had my visit at Evangel and talked to the lady that would be my advisor or whatever its called for my education dept, I asked her several questions about being able to teach in Plano and what my plans were to do after I graduate. My ultimate goal is to come to Plano and teach because their special ed programs are incredible and I would love to teach in that district. I asked the lady if the degree plan, certifications, and testing would all get me to my ultimate goal of teaching in Plano for an early childhood sped alc/elc classroom. She told me she thought it would but that I needed to double check with the distirct to make sure I was getting what I needed to so that one day I could work there. I emailed several people this past monday, thinking there would be no problems at all, and came to find out that it was a good thing i asked...

In Plano they do things a lot different, especially in the sped world because they hold that department to such high standards. I told them that my ultimate goal was to teach for that district and I needed to know the best way to get there. They told me that they would be much more likely to hire me if I graduate from a Texas school, especially with what I am wanting to do. Each state, let alone each district, handles the sped world so different. I was told by administration and a teacher in Plano that I need to be taught by the Texas standards for this field and district, and the testing that I would have gone through in Missouri wouldn't match up with what I needed to teach here and would have to go through a completely different certification process.

All that to say, my plans have now changed. Knowing my ultimate goal, I had to be wise with my decision and think long term. As much as I love Evangel, it's just not the smartest move for what I am wanting to do. SO, now I will be staying in this area and going to the Collin Higher Education Center in Mckinney, which filters in several surrounding colleges. I will get my degree through texas a&m (commerce), but will be able to take the courses at the mckinney site. Also, once I get enough college hours I can start subing in Plano, which would be a great way of getting my name out there. I want to get my masters and they offer the program I want through TAMU, and Plano will possibly pay for me to get it once I start teaching. All in all it is just the smartest way to go.

Basically God has closed some doors, but has so quickly opened up others. I have already made a good friend this semester that's also going into the educaiton field and going to TAMU that wants to get an apartment together in the fall. I have also been going to the Parks church, a new church in Mckinney that I LOVE, and have met a ton of people my age. I went to a college group and loved it!! God has definitely been bringing me peace these past two days and is preparing me for this new journey.

I'm trying to keep positive and know that He has it all worked out. And even financially, I am able to save a ton for my next few years. This is going to be a growing experience for me and I'm already learning how to get out there and be more independent, learning how to come out of my little bubble and experience new things, on my own!

Please be praying with me that God continues to help me through this and walk me through these next steps of life! Sometimes, life is a little bit of a rollercoaster, but it is SO worth the ride! Going to take every new opportunity and make the best of it!

God in a box

It's been a while since I have updated, but as most of you know, that simply means I've had no time. However, a lot of big things have happened during that time and I continue to face big decisions. I have now entered my twenties! My teenage years have come to an end, and to be quite honest, I am perfectly okay with that. I am excited to be in a new season of life and to leave the past in the past and have a fresh start. It is refreshing, as cheesy as that may sound. This entry is long, but it is filled with some of my deepest thoughts.

Throughout the past twenty years I have been faced with many challenges, and many blessings. But, what I get out of all of this is a God that carries me through and lights my path in the darkness, constantly giving me reminders of His beauty and grace. I am human and I do make mistakes and I often times walk in seasons of confusion, but somehow, someway, He works all things together for my good.

I have several goals and ambitions I want to accomplish in these exciting years to come. Many of you already know my dream to become an early childhood special education teacher for children that are severely and profoundly disabled. I can't begin to express the excitement I have just doing my observation hours this semester at Pearson ECS in Plano. I can't wait to have my own classroom!! Some of you may think this isn't the route I should take because it may not pay much, or it may be stressful at times. Some may think I should choose a specific therapy to go into. But to be quite honest, those things aren't what I feel called and led to do. I want to make a difference, I want to be more than just the run of the mill teacher, I want to do something bigger and greater. I feel called to teach, to teach those that can't teach themselves, the ones that may need the extra attention or even just the extra love to be reminded that they are worth something. With every career comes stress, and I understand that, but knowing that I am walking in His ways...there is nothing more freeing than that.

A couple of days ago, while I was at Makenna's house, our friend Bethany from down the street came to visit. She is also in her twenties and has Aspberger's syndrome. Her honesty and perspective on life is so real and incredible. As Marianne and I were talking to her about her future, we began to encourage her to chase after her dreams, to not let anything stop her. We told her that she had an amazing gift of working with and understanding animals. She shared some things with us about her growing up and I became very emotional, on the inside, when we were talking to her about Makenna. She asked us if Kenna liked to draw, because she thought it would help relay her feelings to us, due to our lack of understanding sometimes. We then told her that Makenna couldn't hold a pencil, so she didn't know how to draw. Bethany looked at us blankly and simply said "Yes she can...she just has to learn how to do it." WOW. Ya know, she is so right, but too many of times we assume we can't do things due to our lack of knowlegde or understanding, and we choose to give up or move on to something easier.

I had another emotional conversation with Marianne today about my future and school decisions. At this point and time I am having to make a huge decision of where I want to go to school next semester. Since I am beginning to get into my education classes, I can no longer stay at community college. The decision lies between a private school in Missouri and some public school in this area. Marianne kept enforcing the importance of not relying on my own understanding... but His. For the past few weeks I have been telling myself, "Ok, God...if you provide the finances to get me to Evangel, that's the only way I could go...so it's all up to you." After our talk I realized how ridiculous I was being. I need to stop putting God in some box, setting limitations. He doesn't work that way. If I want to go somewhere, do something with my life, or accomplish a certain goal....then I need to just do it. Go for it. Let go, let God. God WILL provide the ways, it's not an IF, it's a WILL. I have to trust Him, and not just 90% of the way. He puts desires and wants in my heart at certain times for certain reasons and I need to listen to them. Although I am still trying to listen for His voice, I feel at peace. Just knowing that whatever I do, He will be there and continue to walk with me through this life, is enough in itself.

I have been a person of comfort for so much of my life. The past 2 years though have taken me out of that element and have rocked my world. I have been challenged, I have felt defeated at times, I have overcome, I have held on, I have been blessed beyond measure. These past 2 years have been answers to prayer, and I thank God that He so deeply listens and HEARS.

I don't know what's to come, and I ask that you be in prayer with me as I make this huge decision. I know that I serve a God that hears all and knows all, someone that will place together every missing piece of the puzzle HE wants to create, that I cannot handle alone. I am ready for whatever is thrown at me. I'm ready to be uncomfortable, if need be. God, come out of the box and work in me however you please.